Thursday, September 24, 2015

Talking to myself and my anxiety

Who really is going to get on your case about looking both ways to cross the road? But hey, that's fear folks. That is the appropriate word that best describes the proper emotion when you are carefully crossing a street. And I feel no shame about it! My fear of getting run over brings me no shame. And God help you if you tell people that's wrong, as then there is something wrong with you. So why does fear get such a bad rap?

People talk about anxiety and do that as if is distinctive from fear, but then again they'll put in the "fear" word as if, so to a lot of people seems like they talk as if mean the same thing. But to me there can be more of a question of validity with anxiety, is it real?

These are the kinds of things that can occupy my mind but claiming NO expertise as a medical anything whatsoever. Not a mental health professional. Am some guy talking out something that intrigues me on my blog.

And if you're heading out tonight, which can be so much fun, what, if anything, will rule you? A lot of people want to be sure and claim that fear will not, but hey, don't go running into the road without looking! Think maybe they really mean anxiety. Or yeah, fear in certain contexts, like that other people are watching them.

To me it's kind of strange when people will be amazed at how confident I've been in some situations, where the feeling is, just being myself. Having fun. What else was I supposed to do?

But then again I have the benefit of supposing other people really aren't paying as much attention to me, as some other people seem to think people do to them.

Of course what if they are? Um, talking me here. They weren't. But I guess if they are for someone, then why is it that most of those folks seem to handle it rather well? Or I guess they do a great job at hiding the fear? So yeah think that's the right word there and NOT anxiety as then very real. It isn't inappropriate but can still be faced I'm sure. People do seem to do it, all over the world.

So to me THAT is anxiety? Fear for something not quite real?

Possibly we understand when fear is going to be about something real, like you look both ways when you cross the road, to avoid being hit by cars. You're afraid of being hit which is smart.

But if you "fear" that people won't like you, when they may not even for the most part realize you're there as you're part of a crowd, then by saying that to someone can you manufacture that fear? Just by telling it to yourself and even worse others?

Wondering from my amateur position as not a mental health professional, as it is interesting to me to consider those times I just shut-up that voice inside my head and just DID something where that worked out ok. Like a quick mental dismissal, saying, hey these people are having a great time, as I should be, and are not wasting their time worrying about me!

Glad that worked when it did, though one's memory can play tricks on you. No doubt. (So glad don't mention names as certain famous figure comes to mind. If you know who, isn't that amazing? How little it takes to trigger that recognition? If want more clues, um, not giving any.)

Can it be that simple? I don't know. I just know the kinds of things I do. And one is to just ask myself: is my fear in this situation a way to feel more important?

For me that's a great question. Sometimes I really gotta wonder about the attitude, you know? Is it really about trying to put myself on a pedestal where all these people care how I look and behave?

If the answer in my mind is, maybe, then I can talk that down. Like when was in SF, it was like, are you kidding me? These cool, hip San Francisco folks are not impressed. Let's just have fun!!!

Worked for me.

For anyone for whom anxiety is a problem thankfully society is moving beyond the stigma associated with getting help. And there are mental health professionals who can be of great benefit. Science does have its bright spots, and better diagnosis and treatment in our modern age for a variety of mental health concerns is one of them. Talking to the right person could be the best thing.


James Harris

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