Was brought up puritanical is how I like to put it. Parents were in some fundamentalist Christian religion so of course us kids got dragged along. And the idea of just kicking back at times and having fun wasn't as emphasized as it might have been for most. So to me, yes, being an adult making my own decisions I greatly embraced the ability to party more and see it as normal, healthy, and a great release from working hard.
And not so much pushing that for Thursday night, though for those who are not going to work on Friday it is a good start. While I think for others it can be a way to release a little steam without messing things up for the next day. Like if you just go out hanging out at a restaurant with friends? Home for normal bedtime should not be hard. If it is? Um, then yeah probably shouldn't go out tonight.
Of course for single folks there can also be added pressure, which is unfortunate and felt that with an odd twist, as I was SO convinced the Devil was just waiting for me. That's how I was taught! Was relentlessly told that temptation was everywhere. That indoctrination is so potent, so for a long time figured women should just be throwing themselves at me, you know to corrupt me or something.
Of course real world wasn't that way, which was kind of devastating. I sort of felt like a reject...I really felt like a reject for a long time. Though women were interested! I now realize but they just weren't like those preachers or Bible teachers made me think they'd be.
Where now am like, thank God, which is ironic I know, but I couldn't have handled it. Probably have a bunch of kids by now, and maybe have some little scary critters called STD's which would actually make it feel like biblical punishment maybe.
Still even for folks without that training the pressure can be INTENSE which especially in the US is reinforced by bizarre fiction we call entertainment though especially in the past it is debatable how much of television was. Often enough I think people would just sit in front of a television as seemed better than other things they might be doing. And on so much questionable entertainment sex was relentlessly touted as THE goal, while usually managing to depict how it happens, very unrealistically. Like usually with incredibly beautiful people--by a narrow standard--who manage to escape most consequences unless highly stylized or way messed up, like murder. And STD's? In American television for a long time it was just like they did not exist. And I have not checked lately to see if that has changed.
Reality is that sex is a huge big deal based just on what can happen.
Where I cheer it now. But focus on the importance of making your own decision without giving into pressure which is often naive or self-focused. Like those buddies who talk like you're lucky as push some woman on you. Not that am saying that ever happened to me...ok, did at times and I balked. Ran away from situation and felt bad about it, like I was a loser. Now I know better.
People can pressure you to do things with your sexual equipment to take risks theirs aren't facing. Is SO easy for certain folks. Consequences don't care for you though, why you did, what you do.
Reality from various sex surveys of actual human behavior tend to fascinate and for me were a relief.
Nothing like American television or movies. But those things involve entertainment. And I think fantasies of writers where if you look at the writers it can make sense! And not trying to disparage them but have looked at writers, as am curious, behind the scenes and would feel, not surprised. As I could identify with and imagine them, like me, dreaming of a world which they thought worked one way, partly because they were excluded from it.
How many people realize there are people writing these things maybe living out their own fantasies through it?
Which is yet another reason for greater diversity among writers, and not wrong for those with the narrow fantasies that played out a certain way, as there clearly is a place for them. I just think there should be other visions and voices as well from across the human dynamic. Thankfully I think we're seeing that a lot more now.
So I say, go out, have fun and if you meet someone great! And YOU decide which way you will go. And don't let friends pressure you, or even worse, mysterious television writers.
Have fun. Be free, to be who you want to be, and with whom you decide without silly pressure, is my wish for everyone. So if you felt it, like I did, let that pressure go! Feel the relief that you can be you.
I feel like I have that now. And is SO much better.
James Harris
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