Thursday, March 30, 2017

Public, personal and maybe press

Feel Is useful to focus on some basic broad zones of connection with others where for everybody you have public and personal, and for some they also get press. Where yeah press is when strangers feel interested in all kinds of things, and can ask all kinds of questions, including personal.

The public zone is where you present a public persona, which is how you present for instance when walking out the door, or especially when out on the town, like going out on a Thursday night. Which can impact how people see you! Which is just natural without saying that is good or bad, or anything really but a reality of being noticed, maybe.

It can be interesting to pay attention to that public self in comparison to the personal one that people close to you, like family and friends may get versus those standardized behaviors we learn if brought up civilized for handling ourselves out and about in a civilized society. Leads to a joke you can sometimes hear people mutter as a pertinent question--was person brought up by wolves?

We're very much usually trained and get that public persona as a result, which now can include web! Which is very public when you put up things public, in a new way than how things worked before.

And for some the public persona can be dress up in a formal way like if pushed to something religious as I was, as a child. And have pondered things like suits, as to what does a suit really mean? Why do people wear formal things? And now I suppose is to send one kind of message. While walking around dressed casual can say something else, including how comfortable you feel presenting that way there.

The extent to which the public has a right to know things about you can be judged by a meta perspective by looking around at what YOU expect to know from others.

Like we expect that person in a police uniform patrolling the streets to be an actual police person. And you can expect that couple with those small children to be adults responsible for them with a legally recognized position of some sort. Or if fear otherwise may need to go find that police person for help.

Public reality helps us as communal creatures as we do often very well at getting along, which can be lost in the concerns about when we don't. But that is with a LOT of public information expected, though some can struggle in areas, like does the public have a right to know relationship information?

That ring on the finger for the married, traditional still in my country and many others is an answer that says, yes. The public actually does have expectations in that area which have been worked out over a lot of time.

For those who also get press attention that can be a problem though, as to the relentlessness of scrutiny, and questions about how much should be shared. While notice for personal it shouldn't be, but then can be, if that information is given inappropriately by those close to you. And it's no surprise that public figures can have special problems in the area of what the public should know.

Out and about whenever, it is interesting I think to look around at what people feel a need to tell you, with what they wear, how they present, even more so than what they say. As you walk around and people are communicating so much from their public selves so quickly, to so many.

And where does it matter most, how you present? I think for most public and personal are the two, and even for those who get press those matter most, as of course you want to present well for those close to you, and with the public? Well you get on the wrong side of the public and you recognize all the ways we humans work to have a society that keeps things in check, like back to that police person as just one.

Thankfully I think for most, the effort to do well in the zones that matter is an effort that we all get to appreciate. And civilization depends on that effort. When out and about, if you do go out tonight it might be fun to notice just how you move through those zones. I think for most it is so fluid you barely notice. Which is about skills that I think matter a lot and is fun to me to recognize.


James Harris